Four days?

Hmm I usually have trouble going one without posting to my blog.  Still a bit of real life.. a bit of blogging in my head.  Apparently the wifi connection to my brain can't seem to download... I should bring it in to the shop...

Anyway I will share with you something I realized tonight after listening to one of Haylee's recordings, I'm not sure which one actually... I have a bunch on my iPod Shuffle atm, and I just hit random and listened.  I mean all of them have her wonderful voice, so I can't really loose.

While being incredibly aroused by submitting more and more and being taken deeper and deeper, a thought popped into my head.  This thought has been bouncing around in my head and I realize this motivation has been there for quite some time.  It is has been coming out in my fantasies in the direction of the path I've taken with Mistress Haylee, and seems so obvious in hindsight...

"I want to make Mistress Haylee, CUM."

It's not enough to just make her happy or make her aroused.  Although I become happy when I can do those things.  Pleasing her, making her smile, these things are fun, these things are grand, but these things are not enough.  I have felt such amazing pleasure at reading her words, at listening to her voice, even being taken into trance over the phone.  I feel like such a greedy little slave, letting Mistress make me cum and not once, at least to my knowledge, making her cum.. 

I know she enjoyed our session together, she said so.  I believe it sounded like she was having fun, and I followed her commands and came as she instructed, but really did I give to her the amount of pleasure she gave to me? 

At times I've been able to send her thoughtful gifts that I know did touch her, and please her, even one that helped all of us to see her, but has she ever had an orgasm because of me? I don't think so... I want that to change...

I don't know how to get there... I realize how so many of my fantasies involve going down on her, licking her divine pussy.  Kissing her feet, even taking up the rear from her... All in order to get her off.

Lately I've not cum unless she's directly told me to, I've been trying to find a chastity belt that will fit that I can wear 24/7 or at least something close.  I want all my sexual energy to be directed towards her, I like being aroused by her, I know she likes it when we are, I only want to cum if it will please her...

I've feel like I have truly reached a point where it is all about her pleasure.  The only pleasure I want is that which I gain thru the knowledge of hers.

Can I even accomplish this?  I want to sooo badly... I will do my best to figure out a way...  Even if the first attempt only arouses her it will be a good thing, so I must try and try and try again to make a woman cum can be difficult when she's in the room with you, I want to make a woman cum who is miles away separated by timezones... Still I'm going to try, I hope that pleases Mistress...