A long week..

Early in the week I got a short message from Goddess Darla..

Basically she's very busy, but she'd try to get back to me.. sigh..

It's been a rough week for me.. so little contact with my Goddess.. so very very aroused thinking about her.. finding her so central in my thoughts.. feeling a bit lonely.. the work week can be a grind.  I'm currently not happy at work.  A management change made a decent job, one that I hate going to.  I've been actively seeking other work, and despite some positive things from some job agency recruiters, I've yet to be able to find something.. So it's been rough. 

I just feel so needy for her, but I don't want to make demands.. it feels wrong.. at the same time.. if I hadn't relocked the kitchen safe I keep my saftey key in.. well I might have used it.. I don't want to.. I don't want to lock my self up for someone and not be true to that promise.. at the same time it feels like I'm locked up alone.. <sigh> maybe it's being locked up.. maybe not.. I don't know.. just feeling needy, aroused, horny, and lonely..

It grows and grows..

So in the past couple of days my feelings of need have grown and grown.. when I'm not distracted at work with work, I constantly think of Darla.. of how much I need her.  How much she has control of me.. how horny I am.. I trance in the morning.. I trance when I get home and I wish I could trance during work, but alas I don't...

Deeper for Darla.. these words are going thru my head right now.. as I play Cerulean blue in the back ground.. not sure how much I'll be able to type and get out before I simply drop down and drool.. feeling her words all thru my mind.. thru her playground...

I've sent a few e-mails to her already begging for release.. I need release soon.. I don't know if I'll get it.. if she even plans on letting me out any time soon.. I am at her mercy.. there is no trying to get around the device.. I am locked up for her and at her whim... if I will ever get out again.. if I will ever cum again.. I crave to get down on my knees and worship her.. I would love to touch myself while looking up into her deep blue eyes.. moaning and screaming her name.. Oh Goddess Darla.. you are so amazing.. I am so devoted to you.  I am yours..

Goddess Darla's devoted locked up pet..

boy toy max

Is this thing on?

I know not many people read my blog, but I'm surprised no one wanted to guess how long I'd be in chastity for a free Goddess Darla clip.. <shrug>  your loss, of course at this rate I'm starting to think she has not intention of ever letting me out.. It's been over 9 days or so.. barely even a mention from her about the belt.. although she did enjoy recieving the key.  Even showed it off to a friend of hers.. I admit seeing a picture of it in her friends hands with a grin on her face was pretty hot.  Ok it makes me ache a bit every time I think of it..

Speaking of aching.. my often erections seem to have the unwanted effect of moving the beg foward and making the fit not so great.. Although in the shower this morning was able with quite a bit of pulling and tugging to get it back in proper position... Of course I felt a dull pain ache from all that tugging later.. or is that my blue balls?  I'm not really sure which it kind of all blends together..

I do admit, I'm enjoying the fuck out of it.  The feelings of being owned by Goddess Darla are intense.. and feel so very real because of the belt.  The added expression of my devotion to her is nice as well.. of course it has me so fucking needy for any interaction with a really busy Goddess so that is a bit of a bummer.

Of course listening to her hypnosis is incredible.. It's helped turn me into a whimpering, moaning, tingling, fool of a devoted pet.. I wonder if i'm getting loud enough for my neighbors to hear.. I don't really much care. She recently hypnotized me in a skype session.. despite some technical difficulties.. (sound was off at first, then my connection got wonky) She had me deeper than I've every been with her, and so very deep.. she was more aggressive in her tone and pacing with me than she's been before when I was so very deep.. fuck even thinking about it has me hot.. aroused.. confined.. the ache is growing but I don't' care I want to think about it.. about her.. about the way she makes me feel.. the sexual energy is amazing.. I always wonder if it's as good for her as it is for me.. but damn.. I want her to do whatever she wants to my mind.. if it suits her, it suits me. off the deep end I've gone.. I hope I still float.. or at least find my Goddess at the bottom of the blue..

Ooops!

So I made a mistake when I entered the start of my chastity into the little program I put on my phone.  I used the wrong date, so it was adding a day!  Bad boy toy.. so I fixed it..

Lately my cock has definitely been trying to push it off, and instead it's now kind of cocked to the side, and my cock is deeper in the tube.. a little strange of a fit, but it's not coming off..

Correct count down is 6 days 22 hours 42 minutes as of this posting.

There is pretty much always a dull ache when ever I am not fully immersed in something. Goddess Darla is never very far if not engulfing my mind.. it's a nice way to be.. at least at this count. :)

6 days 9 hours 1 minute...

And the count up continues.. wait don't say up that's a bad word.. say down, soft, flaccid..

Any time I think of Darla, which is like always my unpleasured cock wants to rise to the occasion and pushes against the Holy Trainer.. the Trainer wins every time.. Giving me a dull to pounding ache.. Can't say my cock isn't slightly effective.. although there is no chance for escape, he keeps the good fight alive.  The cage doesn't quite sit as high and tight on me as it did at first.  The constant pushing has moved the cage forward on the skin and the back side of the shaft is a bit exposed.. still covered by sack there is no pleasure for him..

Meanwhile I'm learning the effects of being locked up.. First I'll say many parts of Goddess Darla's recording have gone from pleasurable.. to oh my Goddess.. wriggling and full body spasms now seem to often happen.. a dull and then quite noticeable ache from a struggling cock add to the sensations.. not to mention more wide spread tingling as the sensations look for nerves in which to escape.. all of which has a duel effect on me..


I'm happy to be so trapped by her.. so in need of her, feeling such a heightened awareness of my desire for her, and to serve her.. at the same time the ache and slight uncomfortableness sleeping.. I am used to sleeping on my belly which as you can imagine is difficult with a cage on.. The hardest (ha!!) part of the day is the morning.. waking up with such a need and desire for Goddess Darla.. feeling so horny and trapped unable to touch myself.. unable to cum, UNABLE.. frustration levels are high.. Her being so busy right now doesn't help things.. but it just makes it all that more of a challenge for me.

Perhaps it will just make future periods of chastity with her that much easier because she'll have more time to give me attention.. then again perhaps that will make it worse?  Still I think I'd take 3 times the ache and frustration just to hear her or get communication from her more often.. Need seems like such a weak description for it all..

Regardless here I am locked up and aching for an Amazing Goddess.. I suppose things could be worse.  I am loving being devoted to her, and so looking forward to Saturday.. 20 minutes of a group trance.. and still the possibility for some alone time.. .... I whimper at the thought of being toyed with by her.. Some part of me thinks she might let me out of the cage.. or perhaps she just wants to tease me and relish in my frustration as she teases me about being unable to touch myself..

I just wish I was on my knees in front of her right now.. <sigh>

The count up continues.. How high will it get?  Make a guess in the comments, who ever is closest I'll buy you a clip of Goddess Darla's for free.. Her choice. <wink>

You can make the guess in Days, Hours, and minutes!

Down the Rabbit hole..

So I had my week off.. It was wonderful.. I tranced often to Goddess Darla's recordings and even got to have a session with her on my Birthday.  The session was very nice.. So nice to finally have some time with her.. just us.. She really is a sweet caring domme.. or at least she is that way with me.  Don't get me wrong she has that stern tone as well.. and quite frankly it's fuckin hot.  It's not angry, it's not overbearing it's just stern and a bit demanding.. I guess like most submissives that is the spot.  It's that sexy confidence that she knows what she wants and you simply need obey.

So her recording Aromatized is nice.. I've listened a few times now and I am starting to smell her perfume.. but what I always find myself doing.. what I feel a compulsion to do is confess to her.. anything I might have not really kept from her.. but what I haven't told her.. Those desires that were previously just in my mind.. perhaps I listen to that video because I want to tell her but can't seem to get myself to admit it.. and once having permission..I can let go.. give in.. and say what I have been feeling..

I expressed my desire to be in chastity to her.. She liked the idea.. and so a bit less than a week from my confession and I can't touch my cock anymore.. all locked up in a Holy Trainer v2.  It's a solid device, and one that will prevent an erection and not allow you to touch yourself.. the locking mechanism is internal and without the key the only way to open it is with a drill.  (perhaps you could cut thru the plastic.. but that is the less safe option.. Remember where it is..

Monday I put a key in the mail to her.. I admit I'm a bit nervous.. a bit scared.. a bit excited.. unfortunately aroused and turned on.. She want's the key.. She's said she likes to feel the power in her finger tips.. I can feel her power now.. I can feel it in my veins.. in my skin.. the tingle of her control.. I'm excited for this..

Exploring the next level of what has always fascinated me.. and in a good place.. I'm communicating better and while I crave her time.. her words.. her communication.. I know my place and the place I yearn for.. to be her pet.. to kiss her feet.. to serve her.. To amuse her, to please her.. to lavish her with attention.. I e-mail her all the time.. my thoughts my feelings.. my desires.. any time I do get a response it's wonderful.. sometimes it feels like maybe she's not reading them all.. but she is.. Knowing this attention pleases her.. pleases me.. Her pleasure is my pleasure..

So I'm off to sleep.. and hopefully rest. I'm told this device is easy to sleep in.. I suppose I'll find out..

Feet First...

Ok so I think Goddess Darla has given me a foot fetish.. Perhaps it's just for her feet.. Perhaps it's just to be at her feet. Even typing these few sentances has me aroused.. and now it's getting harder to think.. quite literally. 

Still I will go on.. I've been meaning to post more, but with life being so busy I have not found the time.  Goddess Darla is very busy, and while I undertand it can be quite frustrating and not in the good frustrating way. Still she's young, is getting her education, still wants to live a life, and all that takes time.. We pets rate, but we can be quite needy.... I at least hope to session with her on my upcoming Birthday.

In the mean time I picture her feet.. I picture being at them.. worshiping them.. perhaps sucking on a toe or two.. Makes me want to learn how to give feet massages and pedicures.. if I ever stood a chance of really giving her one.. <sigh>

Well I'm off to listen to her voice.. and think about how I'm going to hit on that cute girl at the shoe store..