I'll admit I've bounced from Mistress to Mistress now.. not really bounced just crushing on one then another until I find some reason to move on.. they are not Darla, it's not a good fit, i really should just find a relationship be it kinky or vanilla...
Just strolled into Goddess Valora.. been watching her clips... just exchanged a few messages... not sure if we'll talk.. not sure if I really want to.. I mean I crave to, but should I? Does it matter either way? Such confusion..
Life is so busy, so crowded as is..
She's dominant, secy as hell, and has a sweet voice. She does live sessions and apprently is committed to the Fetish life. Of course she's in Florida and isn't a trained hypnotist.. while her hypnosis clips are nice... there isn't the skill level I've gotten used to.
Still, watching her clips does give that familar feeling.. more fueled by the dominance and my prior training than anything...
Only time will tell.. I don't have much these days with work and leading up to an Event in the desert that takes a lot of prep time..
Thursday, August 29, 2019
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Long time no post..
So I've been meaning to revist this blog... lately I've had a lot of thoughts and feelings and no real outlet to let them on.. When last I left this blot Goddess Darla had returned to the scene from her break. She was recharged at first and got busy making new content. At first I sessioned often.. I forget why I slowed down the live sessions.. I think with work it got harder to schedule them as I was always fighting the time zone and just schedule issues... But deeper I went, and deeper I remain.
It was a bit of a shock and a surprise. I got a PM from Goddess and she was leaving the scene again.. this time for good apparently... Not much notice really a day or two.. Then when she went she removed her presence online. There still are a few remants.. but not much. Sadly even the good bye message dissappeared.
Honestly I was a bit heart broken. She had grown to mean a lot to me. I mean what we had was both real and not real at the same time. I know it was something I was paying for, but at the same time she filled such a void in my life. She inspired me. Helped give me the will power to follow my doctors diet. I got off medication went from 275 to 235, and was working out 2-7 times a week.. I was feeling great.
She was gone. She is gone. I was always a bit worried she'd burn out. She has a tendancy to jump full force into something, and I understood why she left... Not that understanding meant I liked it. It's like when she live streamed on twitter I think it was once.. So many random assholes on there that I knew some douche bags would mistreat her in a way she did not deserve. She is a dominant woman, but I still have 20 more years of experience on this planet.. Still it makes me sad...
I send her an e-mail everyone once in a while... still I don't really want to bother her in her life. It's not like a I have a right to know anything about it. I still crave details. I would love to just talk with her about nothing but her life. How well it is or isn't going. She still means so much to me. I still listen to her recordings or watch her videos.. I can't seem to replace her with other hypnodommes... I think it's too late for me.. Her programming is just too deep.. it was too amazing of a connection. All I want is a clone of Goddess Darla..
I know I should move on.. but I just can't seem to. I will for a bit and then the urge comes and I'm like an addict on a bender.. the next thing I know I have my old collar on, headphones, and such an ache between my legs.. unable to get relief unable to be locked up under her supervision.
So much I want to ask in an e-mail.. so much I never send.
It was a bit of a shock and a surprise. I got a PM from Goddess and she was leaving the scene again.. this time for good apparently... Not much notice really a day or two.. Then when she went she removed her presence online. There still are a few remants.. but not much. Sadly even the good bye message dissappeared.
Honestly I was a bit heart broken. She had grown to mean a lot to me. I mean what we had was both real and not real at the same time. I know it was something I was paying for, but at the same time she filled such a void in my life. She inspired me. Helped give me the will power to follow my doctors diet. I got off medication went from 275 to 235, and was working out 2-7 times a week.. I was feeling great.
She was gone. She is gone. I was always a bit worried she'd burn out. She has a tendancy to jump full force into something, and I understood why she left... Not that understanding meant I liked it. It's like when she live streamed on twitter I think it was once.. So many random assholes on there that I knew some douche bags would mistreat her in a way she did not deserve. She is a dominant woman, but I still have 20 more years of experience on this planet.. Still it makes me sad...
I send her an e-mail everyone once in a while... still I don't really want to bother her in her life. It's not like a I have a right to know anything about it. I still crave details. I would love to just talk with her about nothing but her life. How well it is or isn't going. She still means so much to me. I still listen to her recordings or watch her videos.. I can't seem to replace her with other hypnodommes... I think it's too late for me.. Her programming is just too deep.. it was too amazing of a connection. All I want is a clone of Goddess Darla..
I know I should move on.. but I just can't seem to. I will for a bit and then the urge comes and I'm like an addict on a bender.. the next thing I know I have my old collar on, headphones, and such an ache between my legs.. unable to get relief unable to be locked up under her supervision.
So much I want to ask in an e-mail.. so much I never send.
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