Lost in Blue..

It feels so nice, the after glow.. left in this warm hazy blue state of trance.  So relaxing and comfortable. so focused on my Goddess... She is everything to me.  I like her at the center of my universe.. good for me... the pleasure, how good it feels to serve.. 

She is good for me too...I've been eating better, I've been exercising more... I swim 3-4 times a week now.  I hope to work in more.  It's so nice.  It's relaxing and tires my body out, but in a good way. I can her.. floating above me pleased at my efforts... then after my swim, as I relax in the spa I picture her floating, or on a throne smiling down at me.. her good pet... I want so much to be her lovely good pet.  To be able to amuse her with my body as well as my devotion and service.

It is so nice to be played with.. as a toy.  Well being played with is what we like to do most in life.  The joy we get from the joy we can bring to others.. to my Goddess.. I am so happy to hand over my mind to her to control and mold anyway she sees fit.. and the best part.. She does..

I wish this cloud of blue pleasure could last all week all forever... so I just keep serving and pleasing and above all else obeying Goddess Darla...

<sigh>

An Aromatized cofession..

I just watched Aromatized again and this poured out of me...

"I watched aromatized. I wanted to know if I had anything to confess to you. I'm happy that I don't.  Well there are some dirty things I've been thinking about you, but I haven't disobeyed at all.. I know I've leaked a bit, but I haven't had an orgasm that you haven't allowed me.  I never want to cum without your say so.  I want so much to always obey you.  I have such a foot fetish for your feet now.. I thought while swimming how nice it would be for you to have a moat around your temple, for pets like me to swim in.  To keep our bodies in good shape and be added protection that you could summon at any time.. I thought of you walking down to the water, perhaps dipping a toe in.. swimming up to you and kissing your toes. You grin and nod, and I swim off, hopeful that you will still be there when I get back around the moat, hopeful that you will grant me another kiss on your feet, another smile in my direction, perhaps even a "Good pet" from your lips.  I want so much to serve and obey you. To be collared and owned by you. I am trying not to dream of serving you in person as much as it's not really something likely.. still I can't help but fantasize about you deciding to keep a stable of pets, of getting an opportunity to be one of those pets.. perhaps there is a long process to proove our worth to you... anyway it would be heaven to me... it feels so good having you control my mind, play with my thoughts, be your plaything, your pet, your devoted worshiper, yours.. all yours.. do with me as you wish, it's all bliss to me."

Nothing embrassing.. and all very true.. there is no escaping the truth with Goddess Darla, so it is good there is no need to lie, to attempt anything but honesty.. It feels wonderful.

I do dream so much of serving her in real life.. although I know it is an extremely extremely remote posibility and that something in her life would have to change.  It would be easier to just forget it, but it is so arousing, and appealing, and incredible...

I will continue to walk the tightrope of fantasy, but try to also focus to remain content with what is the reality.

Perhaps a little pragmatic, with a side of jubilant optimism...

Deeper and Deeper, for Goddess Darla...

Worshiping my Goddess brings me such joy...

It feels so good and so right being trained by her... falling deeper and deeper under her power.. needing her control more and more.  It feels right to follow her training.. letting it deep inside me.. to change me into what she desires me to be.. pleasing her.. serving her.. bring me such great joy in my life.  I want so badly to be everything she desires me to be..

Deeper for Darla.. Deeper for Darla...

<sigh>  It's so hard to wait for our next session.. still I must.. until then.. work hard, work out, eat right.. think about Goddess Darla, dream about her, think about ways to please her.. so captured.. so controlled, so owned.. so deep.. deeper than I thought I could be..

<sigh>

I love to OBEY!

So when Goddess Darla posted the topic of her newest recording, I admit, I was a little disappointed. Not because she doesn't make me deliciously weak.  I am weak before her, she is a strong dominant woman, and I admit that turns me on to no end.  The thing is I don't believe all women are stronger/better/etc.. to all men.  I'm not a believer in a master sex, so to know it was a general recording had me a little... well just less excited.  I was sure I was going to eventually get it.  I mean it is her voice, it is her words, and her conditioning.. Still I'm very busy now with work, so I wasn't rushing to download it..

Of course now that she tweeted.

".you NEED to be more submissive to all women. http://www.thegoddessdarla.com/2015/03/woman-power/ …"

Well I couldn't help, but OBEY.. in fact I admit I'm getting hard as a rock just being able to follow a command of hers... I am even starting to feel a bit weak in the knees...

It just reminds me how much she owns me.. how easily she can pull my strings.. and how much I enjoy it when she does. I can't wait to be back locked up for her where I belong.. deep in her power.. lost in the blue...a puppet on a string of blue energy..

Now to finish that download!

Update 2 - Life in General..

So last week I started my new job. 

It's great!

Working for an old collegue of mine, getting to set up a department.  It's a great opportunity.  Also when we are fully bought out by our Global Conglomerate, the bonuses might get very very good. In the mean time it's a great opportunity for career growth, it's interesting, and I stay very busy.  I'm working over time for a while nothing crazy just 9 or 10 a day, but that means extra money and less time.

I am also trying to eat healthy and exercise.  I started up at the nearby gym and hope to try and swim every day.  If I can end up with at least 3 workouts a week and hopefully more like 5-7.. I'll be in good shape. After a while of that I'll try and add some resistant weights and some more Bar Method class. Or at least some more AB workouts.. but at first I simply need to drop weight.

So less time for things such as this blog, but I'm sure I'll still add some updates and tweet em' like I've been doing for my 6-10 or so readers.

:)

Update 1 - Chastity...

So my Chastity ended with a whimper and a thud.  No really a thud.  It fell off.

I was pretty shocked.. apparently while working away at my desk my balls got so mellow that one of them somehow slipped out between the space between the tube and the ring, and retreated back into my body.  Thus it was out and free.  After I got home and noticed it was not much longer until the other slipped out, and the cage fell off.  So I ordered a smaller ring.  Hopefully that will help.. I have been told that after wearing a device for awhile the sac can strech, so hopefully the new ring will fix the issue..

I of course told Goddess Darla right away, and luckily for me she was very understanding and happy I was quick to communicate what had happened..

I was given permission to release on Saturday.  I had done a lot of self pleasure until then, but of course no release... Saturday I was mostly resting and wanted to do something special with a lot of build up, but ended up not really having the time between running around doing errands and chores, and going swimming. So it was a very weak release, but I was still thinking of Goddess Darla the whole time and moaning her name during... it was nice.

Today I'm glad the new chastity equipment arrived, and I'll do some fitting tonight after I swim.  I assume I'll be locked up once again rather soon.. I'm both looking forward to it, and not at the same time... :)

Afternoon Delight.

I open my eyes.. my body feels numb.  I am slumped over in my chair.. I manage to get out of my chair only to lay down on the floor..so numb, so limp, so weak.  Her blue power is still all around.  I feel so weak, but happy and content.  I just listened and watch Cerulean Waves.  It didn't used to do this to me.  It was always pleasant, always powerful, but it's effects have grown.  The recording hasn't changed, but now I am so much more open, so suseptible to her powers...

Seeing those blue eyes gaze directly into me has such an enormous effect on me... it feels so good.. it feels so necessary.  I adore my Goddess, I love feeling weakened by her, submitting to her power, to her control.  It is no longer something I want, but something I need.  Further down.. Deeper for Darla, Deeper for Darla, Deeper for Darla.. these sweet words echo in my head.. this Mantra is so much deeper within me...

<sigh> Deeper and Deeper for Darla every day, needing Goddess Darla more and more... her conditioning effecting me more and more every day, so sweet, so seductive, so blue.

Best way to spend a day of delay...

How does one spend a day delayed from doing what you want to do?  In my case starting my new job is being delayed as we wait for the background/drug screen to get done and go thru corporate.

I got to text a bit with my Goddess in the morning.  Nothing better ever when I get to communicate with her.  It could be over the most mundane things, or things very germane to my training and submission to her. Either way I think I'm almost always constantly aroused from just texting (not sexting I think that would cause an internal short circuit) with her.

Then I spent some time waiting around for EDD to call me.. I had a window where I had to be ready to speak to them.  I worked a bit on my eCommerce site/business, but it was hard to concentrate waiting for the phone to ring.  Then I was off to eat lunch and I decided it was high time I completed and errand I had been meaning to do.  I had these prints made for the frames I was waiting to fill.

So now I can properly decorate my apartment. :)  Nothing better than being able to wake up and get on my knees to worship at a picture of Goddess Darla. <sigh> Just thinking about it makes me want to go do it.  I think I will.

I finished the evening off with a swim, this blog post, a nice healthy dinner, and some Goddess worship.

Not a horrible day, except for dealing with EDD... Bureaucracy sucks.

It is in my hands...

Or more precise it was in my fingers...my key.  I handled it.  It felt like temptation.  I have no set time period given to me by my Goddess.  I simply locked myself up as an act of devotion to her.  To show her how much she means to me, how much I want to submit to her control, to her power.

I must be strong to be weak, weak for her.  So I placed the key back in the safe, and set the timed lock once again. So locked up I remain, for her, my Goddess.

I do so want, need to be hers.. forever hers.

It hurts sometimes.  It is not always easy, but nothing worth having, or in this case giving up, ever is.