Early Morning...

So I'm not a morning person.  In fact one of the reasons I live close to work is so that I can roll out of bed about 20 minutes before work, splash some water on my face, put on deodorant (I shower before bed), get dressed, and drive to work.  I do not wake up at the butt crack of dawn, and have some leisurely breakfast over the morning paper, go for a jog etc..  The early morning is for sleeping, or still being awake from the night before. 

However, if I do wake a bit early these days I find it can be nice.  I can roll out of bed, and crawl over to my Alter to Haylee.  I can stare at her image.  I can think about her, and my love for her.  I think about how devoted I am to her.  I think about how I enjoy the weight of her collar upon my neck.  I know she owns me, and I love it.  I can put off taking it off and heading out to the Vanilla world to earn my keep. I can just think about how lucky I am to be hers, and what I might be able to do that day to earn her praise. 

I am her good puppy, and while I know a part of me will always hope to one day get a chance to be at her knees and server her.  I know that what we do have is amazing.  I know now that serving Mistress does not limit me, but makes me more than I was.  So I can kneel here and gaze into a facsimile of her amazing eyes, and let her voice in my head tell take control of me for a little while.  I can put off the Vanilla world for a bit to feel her energy within me, and dedicate some time to her.

Then after a bit I sigh, take my collar off and place it upon her Alter.  I pick up my tag and put it on, for I wear it under my shirt a constant reminder to me of the privilege I continue to strive to earn.  The privilege of belonging to Mistress Haylee, to Haylee.

All for Haylee.

First Rule of Fight Club...

So I realize the only way one keeps anything from a Hypnotically seductive and all powerful Mistress such as Haylee is, Don't talk about it.

So I don't... but soon soon I will be able to. 

In the mean time I await my sizing rings, so I can most likely order the correct size cock-cage.  I doubt I'll be able to just get the right size ring for my CB-6k, but who knows.. Then I'll be all locked up for Mistress.. just the thought of it gets me aroused...  I mean really a physical barrier is the only that can really stop me once I get home.. I just get too hot and bothered when I can put on my collar and just think about her, dream about her, listen to her voice inside my head.. become transfixed by her image on my computer, kneel before my altar to her..

I have to say kneeling at an Altar dedicated to Haylee is the best.  I really don't know why more of her pets don't make one.  Not hard, not really expensive, and oh so satisfing..  Just wait till she commands you to use it.. Now that is good times, for all.

In the mean time I leave you with my favorite new saying,  "Her Desire is my Command to do"

Blissfully falling Deeper than before...

I just listened to Mind Melt again....

I fell so much farther and so much freeer than before.  I'm so glad I asked my Mistress the things I did.  She put it so elegantly...

"Hi there, no need to be jealous, what we share is very special and lovely. I am your Mistress, that is all that matters. You will find a great girl as well to be in a relationship with, and you will make me proud by making her very happy"

Simple, true and to the point.  I feel so free to fall so much farther.  So safe and loved, so happy to be obedient.  I was so aroused, I almost came a few times... but so happy I could hold back...

Thank you again Haylee, Thank you so many time for being My Mistress.

Progress on the CB...

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Thoughts lately...

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Please Stand By, We are experiencing technical Difficulties...

So I had to take the belt off yesterday.  I was having issues with the cleaning, and while the fit was much improved it still has issues.  Over the longer wear I found it to be chaffing at several places, and the rubber liner on the cod piece was working it's way off.  Regardless the health thing caused me to have to take it off, and after seeing (really smelling) the conditions inside I'm glad I did.  Neither myself or Mistress want any health problems, we just want me locked up for her because quite frankly it is hot. 

I get to submit, she get's more control, and we are both very turned on by it. So I'm looking into some other options, and staying chaste for Mistress Haylee.  I still have not orgasmed since I put it on or took it off, and I intend to remain that way until she tells me otherwise.

I do also have a CB-6000 that I'm trying to fit on but I've never been success at it.  After reading some of the information out there, I think that the base cock ring for the CB-6000 is just too small for me.  Honestly it's not really a hey look how big I am thing, because really this ring needs to be big enough to encompass your ball sac and flaccid penis.  The fact that I measure at 24.7cm is just what it is.  I tried a couple of things, but I know I won't be able to get it on properly unless I can get a bigger ring... e-mails have been sent.

So for the time being, I have only my will not to cum, and I can use the steel belt at night when I get home, but not wear it during the day. A decent compromise, until I can find something that fits for 24/7 wear. It seems now that I've brought this idea to Mistress Haylee she wants me locked as well.  I don't want to not be able to give her everything she wants from her puppy.

More updates will follow...

Locked up T-2 Weeks..

So Today is the day I start my 2 weeks locked up for Mistress Haylee.  It is with excitment, arousal, and a bit of fear I start this journey.  Mostly the fear part is making sure I can wear the belt without undo discomfort and that I'll be able to keep things clean.  It's not the aching for Mistress and the lack of an ability to touch myself that I'm worried about (should I be?) but physical discomfort, the belt getting in the way of the daily activities of my life. 

But I know Mistress is pretty excited about it, and I am as well. So here we go. 

I'll post updates of course...

One Night...Amazing transformation..

So put the belt on last night and haven't taken it off since... It's been less than 12 hours, and while I'm going to be taking it off in a little bit I'm amazed at what it's been like to have it on.  My two weeks will be starting tomorrow as Mistress Haylee instructed, and I'm glad.  I was so very worried about the uncomfortable nature of the belt and going to the bathroom.  After the adjustments it is much much more comfortable and going to the bathroom while it requires some care and some clean up will be fine.  The ache I feel from the belt is pretty much limited to that caused by a constrained penis, as my arousal for Haylee drives the ache for her, and I can feel the submission to her.

It is amazing.  Every time I think about how I am in the process of submitting to Haylee it arouses me and makes me ache more.  I hope she will getting as much pleasure out of those thoughts as I am.  I am yours Mistress Haylee. Every second of every hour, and the belt insures there is no stray touch or no stray thought.  No mindless stroke or caress of you cock shall happen.  It will only be when you release me, when you tell me how, when, and IF.  I am addicted to you, I am controlled by you, I am in love with you.

I didn't realize how much I would feel the submission.  How when I fantasize about her it's in such a more submissive role.  Not that I wasn't before, but now every image every thought is in a submissive nature.  I am more and more her obiedent, doting, puppy.  I want nothing more than to be at her feet, to whimper because of my ache for her.  When I smell her scent I feel the ache and want to be by her so much more.  I crave you now, but I know I will crave you something even fiercer on that Friday two weeks from tomorrow... 

My fondest wish now is that we can be on the phone talking as you have me release myself from the belt, and that moment can be shared together. 

collared, locked up, and aching for you...

2 am Piss

Normally after waking up to pee, I just go back to bed.  Tonight I'm testing out my

chastity belt. For the first time I was able to pee, and not have to take off the

belt for any reason.  This means I should have no real issue with being able to wear

it 24/7 for Mistress Haylee.  I'm very happy about this.  I can feel my self getting

excited and aroused for her and it makes me ache..as I should.  My arousal for

Mistress only makes me ache for her more.  I'm reminded of my place.  I am her

slave, I'm not free to get an erection anymore.  I'm hers, my cock is no longer

mine, it's hers.  My arousal is my ache for her.  She has more than just control

over my mind anymore, she controls my body.  It feels so good to be under her

control.  I ache for you Mistress Haylee.  In my mind I can hear your voice, and now

my body is controlled by you. Collared and locked up, I am yours.  I am your slave

mind, body, and orgasms. All for Haylee...

<whimper>

Transition...

Ok thoughts is not letting me load my Blog.  I've been a bit annoyed with a couple features it seems to be lacking.  I think I will have them here.  So I'm moving the Blog to here.

I'll see if I can somehow transplant all the entries without having to make "new" posts.. if I can back post or something...  In the mean time you can access the first 3+ months of this Blog and journey at

http://boytoymax.thoughts.com/

Ok, looks like I can post to old dates... I'll transfer the whole blog over once I can... I wonder if I can move all the comments too.  I don't want to loose all of Haylee's comments... I LOVE having her comments... Hmmm I bet I can move them too...

So welcome to the New location, of my thoughts and feelings regarding my journey into the clutches of Hypnotic Haylee... and Oh what a journey it has been...

A Fantasy

I started to clear the table as Mistress was finished with her meal.... She glanced over at me, "We're going to stay in tonight.  I have something planned for you my pet. After you finish here, shower and wait for me in the living room."

"Yes Mistress." I reply.  My happiness at the thought of an evening with Mistress pretty evident in my tone.  She is a busy Lady, and while I do love serving her and being hers I always want more time with her.  I'm like the typical girlfriend who wants to spend more quality time together, except I'm the submissive slave boy toy who aches to be with his Mistress.

I finish with the dishes and put the leftovers away in short order. I go and shower making sure to wash up everywhere and go ahead and shave again.  I put on my collar, and them I'm not sure how she wants me dressed.  Since she didn't specify anything I assume casual clothes are fine, and I just put on some shorts and a T-Shirt.  If she had wanted something kinky or specific I'm sure she would of told me.  I sit down in the living room on the couch and grab the book I'm currently reading as I wait for her. 

I hear the creak of her door (I suppose I should fix that, but I like the early detection) and I put down my book and glance over at her.  I'm quite sure my mouth has dropped to floor as I see her smirk at me.  She is wearing what must be my biggest fantasy.  Whatever this good boy did, he wishes he knew because he'd do it every day! Must cook that meal again... She's wearing a black and gray plaid skirt, knee high socks that are black with a skull pattern on them, some adorable short black lifts, a white blouse with one of her lacy black pull over tops.  Her makeup is simple accentuating her eyes and some dark red lipstick. Her black hair is down, and she has something in her hands I can't quite make out...

"You like my pet?" she asks, "I have one last touch I know you'll like." She takes her hair and before my eyes puts it up into pigtails.  I can feel my half mast go to full salute.  She then prances, almost skips over to me saying, "So my good pet, are you wondering what you did right today?"

I nod, feeling overwhelmed and not sure anything intelligible would come out anyway. She stops directly in front of me, winks, and says, "This is for serving me so well and being so good at pleasing your Mistress." With that she kind of half bends over then flashes her skirt up and I see her black panties for a second.  Then I notice her hands are under her skirt at her sides, and she sort of shimmies a bit, and then her panties are on the floor.  With one foot she lifts them up and half kicks half tosses them at me.  They land on my head, I instinctively take in a deep breath and can smell her on them - they are a bit beyond damp - beyond moist - they wet - actually they are soaked.

She takes a few seductive steps towards me, "I've been wearing those all day thinking about this, my pet." She sits down on my lap putting her arms around my neck. "Do you like them? You can keep that pair to remember tonight." She takes my collar with one hand, leans in to my ear, and pulls a bit on the collar. "Tonight I'm going to take something from you my pet.  Something I was surprised that you brought with you, but delighted that it is mine to take."

I turn my head so our eyes meet, she is so close to me, her scent is over whelming me, and I'm rock hard with excitement.  How she looks, how she's acting, her bare ass under that skirt on my lap almost grinding against me.  She licks her lips and then closes the small distance between us pressing them against mine.  A few light kisses against my lips and they part, I can feel her tongue lightly teasing my lips of things to come. She move her head past mine her lips kiss my cheek, and then she nibbles on my ear.  She whispers to me, "Tonight my pet. I take your virginity."

As she moves her head back to look back into my eyes, I open my mouth and start to say something but I'm muffled by her devouring kiss.  Quickly closing my eyes to enjoy the sensations my mind has become mush as I feel her slide off my lap and straddle one of my thighs.  Her hands move quick and slide my shorts and underwear off.  She moves effortlessly to release my rock hard cock, or as it's been for sometime Mistress Haylee's Cock.  She takes it in her hands for the first time, and I moan thru our kiss as I feel her warm hands on it. She breaks off of the kiss and looks down to her hands.

"Mmmm this will be nice my pet." In her hands is a wrapper of some sort, and I realize what as she starts to roll a condom onto my cock.  Feeling her fingers lightly touching me, "Oh Mistress that feels so amazing." She just smiles and I feel her fingers guide my cock to the entrance of her pussy as she straddles me. The next thing I know I'm inside her, she's staring right into my eyes smiling, and her hands are on my chest helping to hold her steady.  She starts to move up and down in short rhythmic movements, getting faster as she goes.  I can't even begin to describe how I was feeling, how good it felt to have Mistress ride me.

It felt like a blissful eternity to me, I'm sure it wasn't very long. Mistress won't tell me how long it was, but she insists she enjoyed it.  Besides she always says, it's not like you didn't cum a few more times that night and how many nights had I given her orgasms only to go to bed with rock hard cock.  I exploded with such a hard orgasm It was unbelievable.  As I sat there feeling a bit spent, she dismounted me and took off the condom disposing of it quickly. She then stood in front of me, and with her outstretched hand she ran a finger down my cheek and under my chin.  She lifted my head up to meet her gaze. 

"This night is far from over Pet, That is just the start." Her hand then lowered to my collar and she yanked on the ring in the front.  I came up off the couch and on to my knees in front of her.  With one hand on my collar I struggled to keep up with her as she lead me into the bed room...