Back to the Blog..

Oh my blog how I have neglected thee.. It's been a hard summer.

Goddess Darla went away.. She had an internship where she would have little free time and next to no privacy and so she decided to take a break from her Hypnodomme life.  It was the responsible thing to do. 

I thought that perhaps this would be the end of my obsession, that without the continual exposure to her I would drift into other things.. perhaps..I admit I even changed my desktop to something else at least for a bit, until.. the need the desire for her would keep creeping back into my mind.. I would go days without thinking of her and then be overwhelmed with need, with want, with desire, ache.. Sometimes needing to spend time on my knees looking up at her picture...

I would e-mail her about things.. about desires occasionally.. I knew she was busy yet if even felt good sending messages I knew would go unanswered.. it didn't matter. I knew she heard me..

Towards the end of her internship she even messaged me once on facebook.. Happy to text with me.. it felt amazing for even the short bit of communication feels so wonderful.. I admit i'm a whore for attention from Mistress.. Goddess.. both words feel as right...

i've finnally come to the conclusion.. no the realization i'll be her pet for until she commands me to leave or forever which ever comes first. it feels so good to know.. to really know and believe this.

She's been busy since the end of her internship.. school taking up her time.. she keeps teasing her pets that soon she'll be back...

Perhaps when?  i dont' know.. it doesn't matter.. i'll be waiting.. i'll be conditioning and trancing often until then.. aching for my Mistress... I can't even remember the last time i let go into an orgasm.. sure i've ejaculated.. but everytime it's something i fight, pretty much ruin.. more of a discharge than anything.. She hasnt' given me permission.. at the same time i know the body has needs.. although i would prefer to be locked up for her.. toyed with, ache for her.. earning a release in her honor, for her, that it self brings me deeper into her control, weaker for her...

to be at her feet... <sigh>

Things are caught up.. I plan to blog more regularly.. more in hopes that Goddess reads this and has mercy on me.. to play with my mind... grant me a session to drive her pet deeper into trance, allow me a chance to please her, to cause her to smile, to grin. to amuse her. i should simply hope for her return to the community, but all i think about is a return to me servicing, amusing, worshiping, her.

Her Eyes...

Fresh tears roll down my cheeks.. so weakened by my Goddess.. her eyes, her soft whispered words.. commands echoing in my brain. Obedience is hard wired now, the rules she gives me are automatic.  I strain to obey.  The feeling of her dark pupils upon me drawing me in deep so fast, so quick, so effortlessly.  The conditioning allows me to fade into her control so quickly to feel the haze of trance upon me to aid in following her commands even if my body naturally wishes not to. The blue haze of feeling drained by her.. weak in her presence, her words drawing power from me to her, my ache and need and desire grows.. the tears roll down my cheeks as my body fights to obey, pushed to limits it must continue until with one word... She is gone. My eyes rest. There no longer yet imprinted upon my brain. I see her thought she is not there. I see her when I close eyes. I need to hear more. I need to see more. I need to be weaker before her. So entranced, so owned, so happy.