One Step Back.. How many steps forward?

So the past couple days were hard.  The belt was uncomfortable and my Goddess was out of reach.  So alone I broke down and when my safety key was accessable I took it out and unlocked the Holy Trainer and took it off.  No the first thing I did was not masturbate and cum, I cleaned my penis and sighed.  There had been some build up of dead skin and it was a bit tender..  A bit later I did touch my self a bit, of course they were to thoughts of Goddess Darla.. I got so hard, so horny, so desparate for her.. wondering if I would still be hers.. there was no release just a little play time..

Still hearing nothing.. I was sad, I felt lonely.. I knew she was busy with school and such.. perhaps this was just not the right time I thought.  I mean being in chastity can make a submissive more needy than they already can be.. still it had been such a high at times.. still I wondered if maybe it was just the way of things telling me I needed to find someone here where I live.. to start something with, to serve, to obey, to romance..

Still a bit bummed I was lying on the couch watching the beginning of my Chargers getting destroyed by the Dolphins and my phone makes a little noise.. It's a text from Goddess Darla.. <sigh>  We texted back a couple times.. It was good.  It was some conversation I needed.  She was proud of the two weeks, but disappointed that I took off the belt with out permission.  She acknowledged it was hard for me without her being around much.  We decided I needed a plan from her and bit more structure.  She would get back to me..

I was and am grateful for that.  She understood, but at the same time there is room for improvement.. In the mean time I have a bit of a rash.. it's more like sensitive skin from dead skin finally being able to come off and the new skin being a bit more sensitive.. I have some better shaving and some smoothing of some seems on the device..

I am still hers.. and it feels good.  I will simply enjoy being hers for a bit, and learn a bit more about wearing a device.. then it sounds like it will be back in the cage and back to expressing my devotion to my Goddess, this time with a bit more focus and a bit more control..