A Vacation Morning...

I work in manufacturing and one of the benefits is most years we shut down from Christmas to New Years.  Last day of work for 2012 was yesterday.  So nothing but vacation left for me this year...It's pretty sweet.  It now allows me to have mornings like this:

Wake up... yawn.. Gaze at picture of Mistress by my bed.  Put on headphones and listen to a recording of Mistress.  Feel more and more submissive to her, more aroused, more owned.  Basically all good things. Snuggle up with the images and sounds of a wonderful Mistress bouncing in my head.  Slip out of bed and crawl over to my Altar. Stare at her picture and think about how blessed I am to be hers.  Let out sigh of contentment... Go to computer, check to see if there's any new communicaiton from Mistress..  Check Blog. Post on Blog. Go get breakfast...

Wearing my collar the whole time.. No more having to take it off to go to work. Going to take it easy today and watch some movies on DVD.  I think I'm going to pick up some Head Band Ear Phones as well which should be more comfortable in bed.

Perhaps I'll have some tea..

Comfort Zone..

There is something to be said for nurturing your relationship with Mistress Haylee.  For being as honest as you can be with her and yourself. For even bringing up the fears, the desires, and finding a reality in the fantasy.  Sometimes it's amazing to trance out and let all our fantasies take over for an amazing dream...  The feelings we encounter the thoughts, the desires, mmmm I get hot and bothered just thinking about it... 

Sometimes thought the less flashy, the more day to day, the humdrum part of life is what at least for this pet of Haylee's realize how wonderful what we have is.  The little posts here and there, the short e-mail messages.. Being encouraged by Mistress when your facing some tough medical news.. These things are what deepen my devotion to my Mistress.  She's not just candy, she's a main course with wonderful sides. Hmm perhaps a food analogy isn't quite right.  Still I think you get my point.

So I wear my collar with pride, curl up with a recording every night.  Send her e-mails to make her day better with crafted words and fantasy for the both of us. Brighten her day with a gift when I can, perhaps send her an audio file of what I sound like when under trance (I think she really digs these, easy to make as well.  Audacity free ware, google it.). I read blogs of other devotees, and twitter a bit now and again.  In way I've found my pace, and I'm ok with it not being the same as others.  It's good medicine for making sure the green giant doesn't take over.  In the mean time, time to focus on making sure I eat right, keep up the exercise, and watch that weight.  As well as grab morning in bed with her voice from time to time..

Four days?

Hmm I usually have trouble going one without posting to my blog.  Still a bit of real life.. a bit of blogging in my head.  Apparently the wifi connection to my brain can't seem to download... I should bring it in to the shop...

Anyway I will share with you something I realized tonight after listening to one of Haylee's recordings, I'm not sure which one actually... I have a bunch on my iPod Shuffle atm, and I just hit random and listened.  I mean all of them have her wonderful voice, so I can't really loose.

While being incredibly aroused by submitting more and more and being taken deeper and deeper, a thought popped into my head.  This thought has been bouncing around in my head and I realize this motivation has been there for quite some time.  It is has been coming out in my fantasies in the direction of the path I've taken with Mistress Haylee, and seems so obvious in hindsight...

"I want to make Mistress Haylee, CUM."

It's not enough to just make her happy or make her aroused.  Although I become happy when I can do those things.  Pleasing her, making her smile, these things are fun, these things are grand, but these things are not enough.  I have felt such amazing pleasure at reading her words, at listening to her voice, even being taken into trance over the phone.  I feel like such a greedy little slave, letting Mistress make me cum and not once, at least to my knowledge, making her cum.. 

I know she enjoyed our session together, she said so.  I believe it sounded like she was having fun, and I followed her commands and came as she instructed, but really did I give to her the amount of pleasure she gave to me? 

At times I've been able to send her thoughtful gifts that I know did touch her, and please her, even one that helped all of us to see her, but has she ever had an orgasm because of me? I don't think so... I want that to change...

I don't know how to get there... I realize how so many of my fantasies involve going down on her, licking her divine pussy.  Kissing her feet, even taking up the rear from her... All in order to get her off.

Lately I've not cum unless she's directly told me to, I've been trying to find a chastity belt that will fit that I can wear 24/7 or at least something close.  I want all my sexual energy to be directed towards her, I like being aroused by her, I know she likes it when we are, I only want to cum if it will please her...

I've feel like I have truly reached a point where it is all about her pleasure.  The only pleasure I want is that which I gain thru the knowledge of hers.

Can I even accomplish this?  I want to sooo badly... I will do my best to figure out a way...  Even if the first attempt only arouses her it will be a good thing, so I must try and try and try again to make a woman cum can be difficult when she's in the room with you, I want to make a woman cum who is miles away separated by timezones... Still I'm going to try, I hope that pleases Mistress...

The Expansion of the Empress

It's interesting how much something can change in a matter of moments.  A buzzing of the smartphone and new blogs to read, new thoughts to fight thier way to the fore front.  So I come home and sit down to my blog and while I thought I'd be typing about Mistress's new release, "She cums first..." I find myself wanting to talk about something different.

I read Princess Indigo's new blog post http://whentwofiresmeet.tumblr.com/  It made me think about some similar thoughts I've had, and Mistress's recent declaration that she wants a Castle.  How wonderful that would be for all of her devoted minions.  I can imagine my place in Empress Haylee's domain.  A loyal enslaved Knight.  An intimidating presence to others, but one that longs to drop to his knees before his Mistress.  A red metal collar securely fixed to my neck.  I would of course cherish the time I would get to serve Mistress Haylee. Be it kneeling at the side of her throne, or if I'm a really good boy and sweet puppy having her visit me in my chambers.  A corner of the Castle, where thru a secret passage only known to her she can emerge from and join me in front of a roaring fire, on a soft blanket.  In the mean time I would often roam the country side looking for things that would bring joy to my Mistress.  The other people of the Area do not know what to make of most of us.  Only that we serve a powerful Enchantress, and it would be unwise to make a disparaging remark in front of one of us. 

I have also noticed how many more of us there seem to be.  As more and more of us start blogging for her, or find ourselves on twitter or tumbler, or logging in to Inrapture the presence of her army grows.  With out these internet addictions to show our existence to each other we would simply be that anonymous mass that takes up Mistress's time, but also supplies her with things she desires and aim's to make her happy and give her pleasure.  While of course I'll admit some part of me gets jealous as so many pets appear, there is a part of me that is happy for Mistress.  It is that part which is growing as I both understand my place and my relationship with Mistress.  In a way it can be slightly amusing to see a post by a person who has just discovered her.  To see what they post, and to chuckle to myself as I recognize where I was, and where they will most likely soon be.  I too am interested by the differences in each of our paths.  It only makes sense when I think about it.

We are all different, and while Mistress Haylee is the same person she too is different.  We each meet her in a different time, and so she is the person she has become and not the one she was before.  A slight difference I suppose but it can make all the difference.  If it's one thing I think I've come to learn about her, it's that she believes in growth, and often encourages us to be the best slave/pet/puppy/kitten/devotee we can be.  She urges us to grow in a positive direction, and that makes me love her all the more. 

There is power in what many can do over one.  I know at some point some of us can come together to do things for Mistress that we could never do alone.  For some it won't be time in thier journey to do so, for others it will be the natural progression of thier love for thier Mistress, their Owner.  As the Army grows, units of one shall become units of many and the whole will be greater than the parts.

Perhaps with enough of us, we might even be able to build that Castle.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some training to get back to.  I have to become a better submissive lover to my Mistress.

Pleasant way to start an evening...

After a long day that started at work at 4:45 am and ended around 3 pm, I made my way home to Haylee's voice.  I got home feeling the need to hear her, and be her good sweet puppy.  I stripped out of my work clothes, put on her red panties, and felt her cock stir in the silk beauty.  My collar was now affixed to my neck and I felt more hers, and more at peace than I had during the hard work day.  I sprayed myself and my pillow with some Love Story and took a deep breath... It's as if I was back at her knees - where I should be.  Where I long to be, under her observation and control.  I can hear her in my head, saying various things, pleased with her sweet puppy.  I can feel the ache in her cock, that makes me only want her more. 

As I lay there at first putting on her recording of Sleep time, I couldn't help but hump the bed.  I was so turned on and aroused.  I missed being with her voice, listening to her words, letting her control sink down into me, letting her voice find a bigger space in my mind, becoming more and more obedient, finding my thoughts shaping to her lovely and intoxicating will.  Shortly though her calming words took their effect and the need to hump was replaced by a clam serene relaxed sleep.  I breathed deep and took her words into me.  I would stir every now and then to hear them, only to drift off below trance in a sleep like state.  It feels wonderful. 

So now I sit here at the computer, feeling much better.  I feel more like I should, like her property which I am.  I can feel the stiring in *her* cock even as I type this.  I want to be her good puppy all night along, and properly ache for her.  Perhaps moan her name while on my knees in front of her alter, chant her spell and give her more power over me.  Only a few more days in this week, and the seasonal parties are starting.  My company shuts down from Christmas to New Years so I have hope I'll be able to spend more time devoted to her, perhaps share in some more playtime on the phone.  I definietly am glad to have more time to making sure I have a happy, pleased, and turned on Mistress.  Her pleasure is my pleasure.  I also should have more time to work out and focus on my diet so I can be the best version of my self, like she demands and I'm oh so happy to have her helping me achieve.

I love my Mistress and I look forward to a wonderful Winter Solstice.

Making Mistress Smile..

I have to say it's my new favorite hobby.

What can be better than putting a smile on your mistress's face? Perhaps getting to see that smile, but still I know it's there.  I have but to close my eyes and I can see it.  It's hot, it's beautiful, it's a great feeling to know that something I did caused it. 

So I sent her a Hannakkah present.  It was a really easy thing to do I thought.  She asked for a Castle, so I sent her one.  How did I fit in the box? (the box was 6x6x3 If I remember correctly)  Use your imaginations.  Think a little my fellow slaves, I think that's half of the present itself.  Plus I did get to send her my leash <sigh> and of course I couldn't not send some gelt.. (gelt = gold wrapped chocolate coins, the chocolate is real the gold wrapper is not. ) I even make sure to sent the good stuff from Sees. No chep eh~ milk chocolate for my Mistress.

It does surprise me how much fun it is to give Mistress presents, and remember they don't have to be expensive.  Honestly the Castle was pretty cheap. It is the thought, if you can send her something that is personal, that has meaning between what the two of you have shared.  These kinds of things mean a lot and express the connection between Mistress and slave/pet/puppy/boytoy/kitten/puppet/etc..

I have another idea for something I'd like to do for Mistress and while mentioning it here does break the first rule of fight club, hopefully she'll over look it.  If your a fellow devotee and interested leave a comment here with an e-mail I can contact you at, I'll moderate out the e-mail and send you more information.

Until my next blog entry, I'm off to listen to Mistress Haylee, I think I need to fall into some quicksand....

The Ache...

I wonder, is it by direct suggestion or is it merely the natural progression of following her training.  Perhaps it happens all by it self when a submissive such as myself finds his dominant such as Mistress Haylee.  I find myself aching for her, and that alone is not much of a surprise.  However what I find surprising is it has become the ache that I desire.  To ache for her, to long for her, to writhe in sexual agony, turned on by her but unable to release.  This is not only where I am, but where I want to be.  I long not to cum, but to be teased to the brink of cumming.  To be aroused for her with the release that was once the goal.  It is the endless journey that I now long for with out ever reaching the destination. 

It seems so simple now.  How could I not desire this?  I need that chastity device, not as a punishment, not as a sexual deterrence.  It is an aid to resist the compulsion to release.  To be able to desire Haylee in amounts that I can't fathom, to let her feed on that desire for her, to build that desire from a flame into a fire.  To be utterly and uncontrollably, hers.

I ache for you Mistress Haylee, and I only want to ache for you more and more until the end of time..