Tease Me, Please You, Deny Me..

So Goddess Darla recently went camping and came up with a quite devious T&D script. My interest was peaked, as this is a fun fun topic, and getting lost in her is very fun.  I think I realize my type is the caring Dom with a devious dark streak.  I think she fits the bill, add in a sweet voice and a craving for all things blue.. yeah I know..

So after listening.. I found my self falling back into the lust when I first came across her.. The fun feeling of that first fall.. Listening to it a few times.. feeling the urge to tweet and e-mail with her only lead me to feel more and more obedient and under her spell.. The urges.. the desire is quite real.. alas it leads me to a similar fork the road.

She's a Pro.

She's on the other side of the country.

She's temptation, and while the idea of asking to be one of her pets.. to earn a place in her temple.. to worship and adore her is quite enticing.. Call me greedy. I want more, and I want less.

When it comes to interacting with Pro Doms, my role is clear.  I'm a sub.  I might fall into thier spell for a time, but I'm never full taken by them.  I can't be.  There's a part of me that is very un sub like.. it is very not a slave... It is very, very Alpha.

To look at a woman I know, I like.. To get in touch with that animalistic part of yourself.. To embrace the lust and the desire.  To give in to the need, not to bow to her control, but to give up all control.  To take her, to take her body, to kiss, to lick, to penetrate her.. Consumed by need. Most women like to be taken by their man, by a man. I'd wager to say many Dom's even enjoy it.. I mean when she's getting fucked by her alpha Male Bull, he's seldom a thoughtful sensuous lover..

So I know I want, no I need a woman who isn't a pro, but who also isn't just a Dom. Who isn't just a sub, who is as I am complex. Who is real.

Sure Pros are real, I get that.. and I could have a great experience, but I'd never feel like I was fully giving myself to them, because I can't.. or at least I don't. Why?  It all comes down to this..

How can I fully give myself to someone who does not fully give themselves to me?

How can I be all in, when they have so many toes in so many pools?

So I feel I can't be her pet, but I can be her sometimes stray that comes around from time to time...