Is it just me or does it feel crowded in here... In here being in the crowd of admiring slaves and devotees of Mistress Haylee. Don't get me wrong I suppose I, we knew we all were here all along.. but it feels so much more... Real? When you see all the names, hear all the different voices, see all the different styles of writing... it's a bit different...
The club at night with the music blaring, with the beat pumping...
The cold light of day as the endless crowd leaves a venue of ultimate late night dancing...
To some extent I think, This shouldn't bother me. There are no facts that have changed... Emotionally it's a toll. I can't get around the building block of my life that is I'm monogomous... but is that it? Is that the crux of my emotional turmoil? Is that why this is bothering me? I mean really I think I got over the shaing aspect awhile ago...
I think it's more seeing that some have what I can never have. What I have no hope or prayer or chance to experience. Yup. I think that's it...
At least I still have this dark corner, and darker ones still where I can let these demons out and if not defeat them at least give my mind a break from their continuous aggression and intrusion into my world.
to some extent I've been mostly positive in my blog, but sometimes in to every life a little Rain must fall.. With out the bottom there can be no top... HA! The layers...
Well a drink or two of water and then bed for this tired soul... who knows what dreams and thoughts may come and visit me in the night...
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