Catching Up Part 2..

So Goddess was back and she started reoganizing her presence online and releasing new clips.. I would race home on days that she put out a new clip. Often paying and starting the download process while still at work, so when I got home I could start listening as soon as possible... It was wonderful to feel to close to her again. To be able to tweet about how she made me feel, about how much I adored her, how weak she made me feel, how unbelievably good she made me feel.  All with such simple ease and artistry...

Down, down, down, I fell.. Up, Up, Up, she worked me... quickly I ordered a new pair of sleep headphones so I could relax in bed with her voice in my ears, bouncing back an forth inside my mind.. her playground. Her wish list was revamped, and I spent time looking at things that would make her happy.  So pleasurable to please her once again... Such a joy to send her things once again. From the littlest gift to the biggest one, she was always appreciative of what I or any pet would send her. That quality in her is one I cherish, as she recognizes each act a submissive commits...

Deeper for my Goddess I fell, giving in to her power, conditioning to her voice.. soon she was my morning, daily thoughts, and night.. it was wonderful to find myself within the blue once again..

Inspiration of the Blue

Deep.

Deeply connected to her desires, her power sweeps thru me, around me.
She controls me so completely.
Even now while she is barely here.
Her voice echos in my mind, her visage emblazened in my mind.
Deep and Blue. Weak and submissive.

She owns me.
My Body.
My Mind.
My Soul.
I am no longer anything unless I am hers.

In this submission my worth grows.
Cared for, inspired, guided forward.
My true potential starting to emerge as I reconcile with my true nature.
My own Power being realized in the shadow of her favor.

Strength thru submission. So I fall, again and again. Deeper and Deeper.
The need, the desire, the ache all increasing..
Every winding this path she set before me.
Things I could never do, now are common place, and yet...

It get's harder. Tested by time and distance and the unknown..
Still I know, She is wise, powerful, intelligent, captivating.
I am her captive, without physical bonds I am still tied to her.

For now, Forever hers.



Kneel
Give
Worship
Obey
.........................................................................Hers.

Catching up Part 1..

So much to catch up... there are some recent reasons for me returning to my blog. Most of which will become played out as I catch up on where I am in my hypnotic journey, and how I got here from my last post in November of last year and now here nearing the End of May.

So in case you are reading this and not aware, Goddess Darla came back to the Online Hypno scene.. Actually she came back with a vengence. She was able to commit much more time to it.  I have been thrilled.  I was so thrilled when she first came back.

As one of her more devoted stal-- err pets. I learned she was coming back from her right before she came back. I was able to serve her right away helping to gather information on the hypno scene and how things had changed since she had been gone.  I was over the moon happy to do this for her.  My day job had started to really suck from a satisfaction stand point.  At night I was very happy to have her hypnotic voice back in my life..

Being able to send her gifts to make her smile made me so happy again. Shortly after her return I started tithing to her again.  Being single makes doing something like that simply a decision I make.. I chose a reasonable percentage and started giving to her every pay check. It was a wonderful decsion.. it made me feel so connected to her.  The stead act I think is a better measure of devotion then one big tribute.  It doesn't have to be much, but doing it consistently and for a long time says a lot. I would send her a letter, with a hand written note on blue paper, with the cash wrapped inside.

I got such a rush of pleasure everytime I sent one of the envelopes.  I also wrote, and still do write every not from my knees.  She doesn't see me, but the act of it feels so good..

Things have progressed in a wonderful fashion with Goddess Darla.. I will catch up on the blog in parts instead of one giant wall of text.. but all good things.

Coincedently around the same time She came back, my Doctor put me on a Paleo type diet in an effort to control my blood sugars and loose some weight.

I miss her..

I do.. so very much... getting lost in her voice and her eyes... via her videos and her recordings can be magical.. but it can also create such an unquenchable desire... a relentless need that can not be fullfulled...

it leaves me in this blue limbo of need and desire for something I can only very rarely have.. if even then if even that lucky...

<sigh>  yet to ache in and of itself can still feel soooo good.

Perhaps one day I'll find a Goddess in my day to day life and drop to my knees in front of her.. until then my nights are filled with longing for Goddess Darla and her control... her power...

Awake and Ache..

I don't know if I was thinking about her in my dream, or it's just the first thing that popped in my mind, her mind? this morning.. All I could think about is Goddess Darla... serving her.. aching for her..

I was up early enough to trance for a bit before showering and heading off to work.. part of me was afraid of listening to Blue Balls.. as I was already hard from just thinking of her, but I know that when i'm aroused i'm weak and serve her well.. so i listened anyway.. surprised I didn't cry.. although I came close to tears as the frustration built... building... that word has such  a new meaning to me..

I hope She comes back to the online trance community soon.. i so want to just be devoted and committed to her, to make her life better.. So a smile is accross her face more than a frown..

So commonly I fantasize about being her servant.. greeting her from her day with dinner and a foot massage.. taking chores out of her life so she can focus on what she wants, so she can relax when she wants, or work out at the gym.. just making her happy makes me so happy.. the idea of being there for her.. of gettting to be there with her.. <sigh>

So Blue, So Deep...

I've been aching for Goddess Darla a lot lately.. the craving level has gone code blue... <sigh>

Woke up this morning... I could feel the ache.. the need.. I had to watch, You need me... her voice like a drink of water in a desert.. so soothing, so crisp and clear, yet I needed more.. always more... I tranced to raindrops... it helped... I still feel a dull ache in my loins for her... yet I can't bring myself not to ache for her...

i need to be hers so much... so owned... so aching to please her... i spent some time on my knees and it felt right and good... if only i could spend some time on my knees at her feet.. or could do things to please her during the day.. to make her vanilla life easier.. to still treat her as the Goddess she is..

<sigh>

Catch up...

So my infatuation with Madam Violet was quick.  She is a very skilled Hypnotist, but she's just not the domme for me.  It's too much about the money, and I didn't think I would be able to please her.  It would not of been a good thing..

So I looked around... listened to different stuff... Paid attention in my real life.. found my self trying to date, but not being able to date anyone I truely wanted to date. Story of my life.

I found my self late at night often thinking back to Goddess Darla...

Then one night I got a message from her... Not un retiring or anything, just feeling that urge to play with a pet... so nice... so very nice to hear from her... just to know she still thinks of me when thinking of her pets...

<sigh>

Starting to face the truth that even though she's too busy with Vanilla life to have an online presence, I still wish to be hers in whatever form that takes...I've been trancing to her voice a lot lately.. and no one else.  The ache, the desire, the NEED. is real...