I've sat down fully intending to write my devotional to Goddess Darla. I've done it several times. Admittedly I haven't gotten very far. Just sitting here thinking about her is hypnotic and arousing.. Thinking about how weak I get when I'm in her presence or listening to her voice or obeying her commands... I feel light headed.. I feel an urge to be on my knees.. to prostrate myself before her in reverence.. in awe.. taken..
She makes me feel wonderful. She makes me feel controlled. The desire to submit myself to her whims is large, it grows, it is intoxicating. It is insatiable. It took me by surprise in the beginning, falling hard and fast to her charms in a tidal wave of desire. The need to ache for her grew.. I offered my chastity to her, and she took me up on it.. First 14 days and then I succumbed to weakness.. followed by 21 days and release by permission, followed by 21 more days although I was sick during it and unlocked without fan fair at the end of the prescribed time period.. of course lately the desire to be under her locked and controlled whim has been creeping into my mind all the more lately.. to be so devoted to her.. to be able to express it to her feels so wonderful.
Following her lessons in subservience has been wonderful... addicting.. inevitable.. the prize at the end is so alluringly attractive, so desirable.. a collar from my Goddess.. to be collared by my Goddess.. just the idea makes me weak.. weak with desire.. weak with need.. weak with desire.
There is already a collar around my soul, but I want more. To earn a collar around my neck means even more. Not only am I hers, but it would mean I'm good enough for her to label me as such in public. To show everyone that I am owned by the Blue Goddess, and she has claimed me for hers. To worship her, to need her, to desire to please her. To obey and serve her.
What makes all this even more wonderful to me, is the affection she's expressed for me. She doesn't regard me as simply some weak minded looser who worships her, and trys to please her. But a pet that has great affection for her, and is worthy of care.
I admit the idea to leave crosses my mind from time to time, not because I don't want to be hers, but because I want to much. More than I can have.. More than is possible, and I have to reign in my fantasies and feeling, to remember my place. A pet in another place, to worship her and connect with her thru the technology of the day.
It was foolish to think I'd be able to leave.. that I'd even really want to.. I've been captured and am so devoted to Goddess Darla. There is no way out and it is so arousing when I realize this.. the deeper is sinks the more real it is. She is my Goddess.. for now.. for the future.. for as long as she desires me to serve her I shall serve her. It is not so bleak, is is in fact so wonderful. No service, no task, no deed has felt as wonderful to complete as those that are for and in service to Goddess Darla. In serving her I find peace, I find contentment. I find happiness. The idea of being complete devoted to her, completely at her beck and call makes me all sorts of out of sorts.. out of need, ache, desire.. If she asked me to.. I would do all that I could to follow her commands, her requests..
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