I am a Rambling man...

Sometimes we walk a path that we never thought would really last as long as it does.  It looked like a short walk, a little stroll.  A journey to be made in a morning, while the sun rises to high point.  Instead the walk becomes a hike, the hike becomes a journey and suddenly the short little path becomes an epic tale.

Some time ago I felt a need within me.  A desire to find someone or something to explore a part of me.  I found her, I found her voice, her writing, her words.  It was really those two things that caught me the most. Her words and her voice. She was cute to, but honestly not my type.  Still those words... and so I took a taste.

I fell. 

I lay there, soothed, spent, exhausted but exhilarated.

What was that? Did I even remember everything? Again.  Less more.  It was all the same but it was different, and her voice, her words... I wanted more. I got more...

Soon I knew I had found something, or perhaps something had found me.  Caught in a web? Drawn into a warm relaxing pool of ecstasy... a dream perhaps.. No a journey.  A journey with a guide shrouded in mystery, radiating bliss and desire.... To be with her, to serve her, to submit to her.

Inevitable.

It didn't really take me long to accept the fact.  Of course a part of me wondered would it last, would the infatuation blossom and bloom or wither and die.  Is it real?  Could it be more? If not would it be enough?

Had I reached the hidden beauty along this journey.  Had I come to the end, would I return to this spot, would it be the same? and then Nature came, the rain came, the thunder the lightning.

Shelter, I sought, and the beauty was left behind, but ever present in my mind.  One foot after the other, my pace increased, the slow winding journey became a foot race.  Enjoying the scenery replaced with increased tempo and miles to cover.  Shelter to seek to find.  I had to withstand what was before me, and find my way back to full strength.

All the while her voice still in my head.  The rain stopped, the storm no longer brewing.. in the quiet of the night I could hear her, I could smell her, I was with her.  Faint at first but growing stronger.  The want no longer, the need to return to that place, to see what I had seen before...

The path seemed different and the same all at once. It was old, and yet new again.  Like the river after the storm.  The rocks move and shift, and the water flows the same path, but takes different steps.  I found my way there again.. This time it was the same, but this time it was different.  I saw the path beyond the pond, the next steps in the journey.  It was not over, this was not the destination, but a spot along the way.

She was not mine, I would not see her, but I would be hers.  Her's to control. Her's to use.  I was to warm her spirit and put a smile on her face when I could. In return I could serve from where I was, and that is all.  Sometimes it feels like too little, but it is enough.  It is where I have found fate to take me, and it does feel good.

I have not found what I was looking for, but I found what I need.  I continue along the road that fate has left.  It's potholes.  It's overgrown landscape, and it's wonderment.  The sights and the sounds, the smells. It stirs my soul, it awakes my desires, and yet smolders still.

Deeper and Deeper...

I continue to listen to Mind Control daily.  I find myself feeling more and more submissive to Mistress Haylee, as if it's even possible.  It's becoming more about submitting to her will then doing her will.  Being before her on my knees with my collar on is becoming more and more arousing.  I feel more submissive, and my desires are reflecting that.  Even casual fantasies have me becoming more submissive to her, as she controls the action and I just obey and react and hope to please and pleasure her. 

Mmmm I think I'm going to need a session soon... Why does work always get in the way? :)

My Collar...

So at one point Mistress Haylee instructed me to purchase and wear a collar.  I was excited at the time to be able to obey her and do as she wished. At the time I was only thinking how happy I was that she had accepted me as her slave and that I was to be hers.  I found and selected a Red Leather collar with a few metal rings. It had a buckle in the back like a belt.  Here is a picture...

It was an interesting feeling putting it on.  I could feel the weight of it, but it was not too heavy.  I also felt (as I do now) aroused as I put it on.  It is a physical feeling of the ownership Haylee has over me.  Putting it on, is an actual act of submission, and to a greater and greater degree this is such an incredible turn on for me.  Being Haylee's I have felt my submissive side awaken into full bloom. Nothing get's me hotter and happier than when Mistress tells me what to do for her.. only hearing her pleasure is a greater joy for me.  I truly LOVE being owned and played with by her.  The collar being that physical representation of that.  I wear it often..  I often wish I could wear it all the time but it would be a distraction at work, and neither of us want me doing something to jeopardize my livelihood.

So the collar remains an activity for my free time.  My time away from the responsibilities and judgements of work.  I can wear it where I please and while it might raise a few eyebrows or invite some questions, it brings me an innate feeling of joy and peace.  For I have long been at peace with the notion of Haylee owning me from now until whenever, and arouses and soothes me at the same time.  For I am hers.

Mind Control Injection...

Do you ever get that feeling that your will is returning? Are you starting to make decisions on your own again?  Then you need what I need a nice strong dose of week long Mind Control trancing..

Feel Mistress get deeper into your mind, her words becoming louder, any will that came back sucked back out of you...

Let the Bliss of Obedience over take you once again, as you renew her control over you...

Thank you Mistress for this recording, it helps me reinvigorate my submission to you...

Submission, obedience, giving you control is bliss...

your sweet puppy boy toy max

This week in Review...

So I noticed something.. Less time to trance to Mistress this week... less working out, less happy...

Not really a surprising observation, but none the less true...

In about a week and a half my daily life will get a big change.  I'm going to be switching working hours to Second shift... so Afternoon to late at night.  I'm actually looking forward to it.  It's not going to be forever... 2-3 months or until I find a new job... My current job isn't unhappy with me, we're a 3 person department and our second shift person will be on medical leave for 2-3 months hence the shift change.  But I've been looking to move on.  It's a small company and I want to do more, make more, be more.

In the mean time I should be able to work out easier, see my Doctor easier, and just basically be able to take care of more shit because I'll have free hours during the day.  It will be easier to interview for a new job as well... <smirk> 

So hopefully big changes will be coming sooner rather than later, and I'll be able to be better, for me and for Mistress...

Morning Trancing..

I woke up about 40 minutes ago... I thought to myself how much I'd love to hear Haylee's voice.  Then I looked at the clock.. one hour till I had to be awake to get ready for work... Hmmm that's enough time... Quickly I fumbled with my CD player, put in Boytoy and..... mmmmm Blissssssss...

Waking up with Haylee's voice putting you into a delicious trance where she plays with you, toys with you, makes you feel soooo good, and just leaves you there aroused, teased, and in love and lust with her...

What more could a boytoy want?  Better put on my panties for her and get off to work... Going to be thinking and aching for her all day!  It's going to be great!

A few pictures of things...

 This is my now Relocated Altar to Mistress Haylee... Still need to reset a few things and so some more things to set the right mood in the bedroom...soon to be Sanctuary...

 I picked up this empty Book,
in order to have a special box
to keep my daily sacrifices to
Mistress... No pictures of
contents as of yet.. :)

Off to trance... and sleep... and dream of Mistress Haylee...