A long awaited session

So it was an amazing session this morning.. A great way to start the day, and so unbelievably hot. I feel like I learned so much and am on a path to be a much better trained pet for Goddess Darla.   I realized a bit how much she has trained me, but at the same time how far I have to go.  Usually I'm happy to go into details but it just felt more personal to me and I just want to gush about my Goddess.  She..... sigh.. so powerful so strong so beautiful so blue so kind so caring...

She makes me feel so weak, so owned, so loved, so obedient, so happy, so molded...

I look forward to more training and conditioning with Goddess Darla.

In my head...

Such an amazing thing happened to me today. I laid down for a moment and closed my eyes.. I imagined Goddess Darla, nothing strange there.. then I started thinking of the various things she says to me as I go into trance for her.. I could hear her voice in my mind. I felt my body relaxing.. I kept listening to the voice in my head and felt myself slipping into hypnosis.  Falling under for my Goddess.

No recoding, no video.

Just her voice in my mind.

It felt soo good.

It felt amazing.

I am hers.

I worship and adore her beyond all my expectations.

.....

So this evening they keep showing promos for the Victoria Secret swim special... it's been making me horny.. which causes me to ache which causes me to think of Goddess Darla.. if I wasn't already thinking of her.. I prefer to think of her when I get horny because then it feels good to ache, because it pleases her to ache for her.. to suffer for her...


She's finally relaxing tonight after a stressful week.. It feels so nice to think of her like that.. lying down.. eyes closed.. a smile on her face.. I wish I could be at her feet, giving her a massage.  Perhaps bringing her a hot towel or nice drink of wine or just lemonade. 

Now I'm thinking of her wrapped only in a towel in a sauna... Now I'm aching for her again... mmm I like just thinking of her eyes.. her strength... her power over me... her intense beauty... her charm... makes me feel hazy.. drifting into that haze right before trance...

Her power over me is amazing.. it grows and grows... I love being hers..

Snug fit joy

In my morning shower today I spent a lot of time readjusting my chastity device.  The farther back against the pelvis I can get the ring the deeper I can get my cock in the tube, and the more snug of a fit.  It is time well spent.  Time intend to spend every morning because it is so worth it.  This is how it should be.  Snug in the chastity device everything is how it should.  My cock, or rather Goddess Darla's cock now only functions how she desires.  It no longer grows large, getting in the way, distracting me from pleasing my Goddess.  No more selfish thoughts and wasted time pleasing my self with self abuse.  Now when it enlarges I simply ache.. a dull pain that reminds me I am owned by Goddess Darla.  I ache for her, I exist to please her.  I am so much better for it.  I am so happy to ache for my wonderful Goddess.  It feels so wonderful when she reminds me that I owned by her.  I feel so much better snug in my chastity cage.  All the feelings are good feelings.. It's not pain in a bad sense.  With a snug fit, I don't want to be let out.  I want to ache for my Goddess.  I only want to ache for release to please her, to amuse her with my desire for her, with my need, with my suffering.  I know it won't last forever, but the better it fits the more I want to stay locked up and aching.. aching to please, aching to be owned and possessed by Goddess Darla. 

<sigh>

Relaxing...

So I went to my complexes pool for a swim.. despite our wonderful west coast weather it was still too cold as it was almost sundown, so instead I relaxed in the spa for a bit..

Of course as soon as I closed my eyes, even before that, all I could think about was my Goddess. As I closed my eyes I could see her sitting oppositte of me. She was smiling, she was gorgeous.  Relaxing in the hot steaming bubbling water, her legs outstreched towards me I could see her feet above the water, teasing me. She could tell I was captivated by them..

"You want them don't you?"

Yes Goddess.. please?

I move a closer to her feet.. my mouth open.. mesmerized.. I start to glide towards them as I lean down her foot moves away.  The dissappearance is followed by a giggle..

"Not yet pet."

I look up at Goddess Darla.. her blue eyes captivating as always... I can see the moisture from the heat of the spa upon her alluring face.  Her allabaster skin glistens in the failing light..

"Beg for it."

"Please Goddess, please.. may I kiss your lovely feet? Worship your divine presence.  kiss each of your powerful toes.  I adore you so much, I am drawn to them.  To be at your feet worshiping you.  the need calls to me. Please Goddess.  I ache to worship you."

"Hmmm..."  she swirls her feet just in front of me...I've fallen to my knees in the spa..although my head is still just above the water.   I could reach out and take her feet, but her power over me is supreme, without permission I can't seem to find the will..."More pet."

"Yes my Goddess please, let me kiss your feet, acknowledge your divine strength, your power and control over me.  please let me worship your feet acknowleding my place at your feet, please Goddess, please.." I look up at her.. the need on my face shows... almost in audible at first I find myself whimpering with need.. louder and louder they get.. The smirk on her face becomes a smile...

"There there pet, that's what I wanted to hear.. one kiss for each toe.."

Joy leaps in my soul.. although I can feel the ache in my groin grow.. grow but not expand... the ache is welcome as it means I will kiss her feet.. I float to them in the water and run my nose up her sole as she places a foot on my face.. I inhale the scent of her foot.  The act alone brings me to a place of supreme happiness.  Almost, if not fully trance like I take the top of her big toe between my lips and kiss it.  I move down along her foot slowly and deliberately enjoying my time close to her.. close to my Goddess at her feet, worshiping her.. my place... my goal in life.. my need...

After I kiss the little toe of her first foot, she pushes me back with it.. I simply enjoy the feeling of her foot on my face.. it's not a hard shove.. more playful than anything.. and it feels soo good.. Her other foot was resting between my legs, and she pushes against my cage before slowly bringing up along my body.. I start with the little toe first smelling the mix of her and the chlorine from the spa..

I kiss each of her toes until there is just the big toe left.. I smell her toe.. and hesitate a little I don't want this to end, but I know it will.. so I will just continue to work to be the best pet I can be.. obey as best and as fast as I can, spoil and pamper my Goddess whenever I can, serve her when she asks, serve her when I know she wants it, lavish her with attention, and perhaps the hardest, leave her be when she needs or wants time to attend to other things.

I kiss her big toe, slowly and deliberately then I look up and into her blue eyes, "Thank you Goddess Darla.  I love you so much."

She just smiles, and giggles, "I know pet, I know."

I open my eyes, and she's gone.. She was never there in the spa at all.. just in my mind.  Just in my soul.

Communicating with a Goddess...

So one reason for this post is to make sure that Goddess Darla knows, that I know my place.  Also to make sure she knows I don't feel neglected when she's really busy.  Anyway here are my thoughts on communicating with one's Goddess...

Remember you are one of many pets or slaves or submissives that she has. While you might have plenty of time to craft a long and lovely message of adoration and worship, she might not have much time to respond to you.  Always - Patience.  If you have been good, and pleased her she will get back to you. There is no reason to complain about the length or perceived quality of the response.  Of course we can be happier the more attention we recieve, but acting all pouty and butt hurt because she didn't get right back to you, or respond to each of your 10 messages.. well you'll soon find your way on the corner with no Dominant who wants to deal with you. 

This is just the way it is, accept it or move on.  I know I have accepted it.

I know she likes to be lavished with attention, so I know it's ok to sent her messages of love and adoration when ever the mood strikes me.. .which is often.  Sometimes embarassingly often... I admit right now I seem to blogging a lot more, focused on her a lot more.. of course I'm on a real vacation of sorts.. now that I have a job lined up and I'm just waiting to start.  Relaxed and focused on my Goddess, I can't help but have plenty of time to tweet, blog, and trance.. So out goes a lot of communication, while she is completely busy with finals.  So I could send less, but that seems silly.  I'd rather she know how much I ache for her amazing soothing hypnotic voice, her deep blue eyes, the inflection in her voice when she wants something.. the deep satisfaction I get from serving her.. that feeling when a smile or a smirk crosses her heavenly face... the deep arousal I get from being hers...  

There's no reason not to let her know.. just remember responses might be slow and short.. still no reason not to express to her things she does love to hear... 

It always pays off.. sure it's an adjustment from most relationships in our life, but learning what it means to be the pet of Goddess... is important and to me feels sooo good...

Deeper for Darla...

The feelings just get stronger and stronger...truer and truer.. bluer and bluer...

Deeper for Darla.. Deeper for Darla.. Deeper for Darla.. just typing them feels so good.. I can still see her blue eyes, blue lips, and blue hair from Cerulean Waves... I still feel the warm haze of a deep long trance.. conditioning to be hers, her pet, her property. 

I am hers.. she owns me in a way I never thought really possible.  There is no without.. there are only levels of service.. she decides.. I only hope.. train.. condition to give more.  I want to loose weight not only for me, but so I can serve her better.  Please her more.. not be embarrassed that my body is not as pleasing to the eyes as it should be...

I am locked for her.. it makes me feel wonderful to show her that devotion... I only want to show her more.  I wish I could do more for her... to please her...to pamper her.. to make her happy that I am her property.  I don't want to be just another nice obedient pet... I want her to be pleased that I am hers. 

I need her.  I need her so much...

Deeper for Darla.. Deeper for Darla.. Deeper for Darla.. so soothing to type these words..

I want so much to earn her collar.. to be collared by Goddess Darla would feel so wonderful.. more so because it would not be an end but a beginning of serving her.

Sigh.. so deep... so enthralled.. one last week off, then the new job should start.  Time at work is time I am earning money in order to properly pamper and sacrifice to my Goddess.. time at home is time to work on my body to please her, and let her words enter my mind so I am programmed, conditioned, and trained to her liking.. such happieness.. such joy..

I love you, My Goddess.. Goddess Darla...

Fantasies of Service...

Goddess Darla's conditioning and programming is very effective...

I never had a foot fetish before.. now a large part of my thoughts of Goddess Darla involve worshiping and pampering her feet.. the thought of kissing them and licking them make me hard (or like now when locked up cause an increase in the dull ache of confinement).  I've been contemplating learning how to give a pedicure in the hopes that one day I could massage her feet and give her a pedicure whenever she wanted...

That's the other part... the fantasies don't involve a lot of sex.. oh I'm aroused during them.. and it all seems very very hot.. but that's from the submission and the service.. and pleasing her...  In fact I've realized just by reflecting on actions I have taken or are taking that I know pleases her..makes me happy.  Her pleasure truly is my pleasure... I am happiest when I know I have caused her some happiness...

I've always been a bit of switch and by that I mean when I'm around a vanilla woman I'm not necessarily submissive.. Amazing Dominant women like Goddess Darla make me a weak, submissive, fool for them.  But if the woman is not a natural dominant, then I find the role often shifts..

It would be wonderful to find a smart open honest kinky woman in my personal life, who likes to take the lead sometimes and other times likes me too.. and if we both worshipped at the feet of Goddess Darla it would be all the more wonderful..

I have chores to do.. I wonder how long I'll go until I can't resist a break trancing to my Goddess... (mmm *my* Goddess I like saying that...)

Deeper and Deeper...

So upon being locked up and being able to schedule a session with Goddess Darla, I find my self more aroused, and more enamored with her... While it's not like I went anywhere or stopped thinking about her and worshiping her, it still felt like I went away while being unemployed. It is like a rush of feelings somewhat like when I first fell for her.  Although it's different this time.. her training has taken hold and I know I'm feeling the feelings she wants me to feel..

I've been hers for quite some time but now at this point a lot of the conditioning has sunk in both consciously and unconsciously.. I'm becoming more and more the pet she wants me to be. A pet that pleases her above all others, and I'm so happy about it.  Things with Goddess Darla have never felt better, and they have always felt good.

I get so aroused when I think of serving her.  I mean turned on and hard.. after listening to the Heel and Stay lessons I found my self in my Heel position dreaming about serving her.. wishing I was at her feet and kissing her toes.. I thought about each one.. the whole time getting harder and harder.. whimpering with ache and need and desire.. I was at the point of pre cum, without ever touching myself, without ever thinking about sex, merely the thought of intense worship of my Goddess's feet.

I rarely fantasize about straight sex, or even really sex..more serving and worshiping Goddess Darla.. waking up on her floor, looking up at a peaceful amazing Goddess. Or being instructed, commanded to do something for her.. I scanned back at some old photos she has posted.. there is one of her feet in some cute socks and her shoes laying on the ground next to them.  Her caption reads, "Put my shoes on and tie them, pet" I ache to find myself in that position.

Then these past two days.. locked and longing for her. I've listened to Ice Bound a few times, and some others of hers.. Pleasure for instance.. took me so much deeper than in quite some while.. So deep, so blue, so perfect, so wonderful, so submissive to Goddess Darla...  I feel such want and need for her... such longing... such desperation... such ache in the cage.. but at the same time it feels so right.  As if I'm getting used to this as being the right normal way of my existence and devotion to a Strong Intelligent Beautiful Young Goddess... her pet.. devoted, desperate, desiring to please..

btm

Inspired and locked up again...

So a bit before my last post I lost my job.  I had been unhappy there, but still it wasn't great.  I had recently bought a condo, and I hadn't replenished my safty savings before I got laid off, so money got very tight, very quickly.  Happy to say earlier today I landed a job.

Shortly after that I sent an e-mail to Goddess Darla in order to set up a long over due and craved for session...

Then later this/that evening I bought Ice bound.. after listening to Blue Balls once again in order to help put me in the desparate state I listened to the newest recording, Ice Bound... Wow.. it was wonderful.. it was great.. it felt soo good.. It felt wonderful...

It helped stoke a fire.. an urge I've been having lately...

I did those two sessions of chastity for Goddess Darla.. I need more.. I admit I do get a bit hesitant before putting the cage on.. and I did need some time after the last time to heal from some chaffing.. but the boys where no worse for wear.. and my cock is now officially hers after listening to Ice Bound.. not that it wasn't hers already..

I just couldn't wait...

As my extra added measure of safety, I put my key in my Kitchen Safe, and set the timer... Only for 16 hours or so... Long enough that I must sleep thru the night, but not too long so I can set hopefully the correct time until I have another session scheduled with Goddess Darla...

So she can play with me as she wishes... or not.. and away I go for as long as she wishes.. I love being as devoted to her as I can... Currently my biggest fantasy is hearing the sound of Goddess Darla have an orgasm that I at least contributed to the making of.. it's a bit of a pipe dream.. but a submissive devoted pet can dream can't he?