Less than an hour and a half...

"Very much looking forward to getting out of the belt..

Pinching under the ball sac really became a big problem this past week.. Need a break from that and to shave much, much, much better.. More incentive after realizing how critical that is..

I love being this devoted to Goddess Darla.. I will enjoy this earned break.

Her control grows...

So I've been listening to Bluephoria... a lot ..

and I do find myself craving her control even more than ever...

the thought to wonder.. to offer to her.. would she like daily control of my life?

tell me what to eat, when to eat, when to exercise, when to trance, when to moan her name.. I wonder just what she would like.. All control 24/7?  Or is it more fun to just have it from time to time in session.. Could it be too much work, would that not be fun.. or does she want that? 

Can I really give that?  Or is it simply my destiny...

She's working on the next installment.. she can experiment on me anytime.. i'm sure she knows that..

Daily Devotion..

Daily Devotion.  That is why I am in chastity and the key to my belt is in Goddess Darla's Possession.

So she can, at her leisure, pick up the key and know that it holds my cock prisioner.  She holds the power over my own self gratification.  Not only has she hypnotised me in to mentally wanting to only orgasm upon her command.. but I can't even physically touch myself without her say so..

This chastity is about me showing devotion to her.  Now I will enjoy my short period out of the belt and my permitted release, but only because I get these because I have been a good pet.  Goddess Darla has appreciated my efforts and decided I am worth enough.. at least this time..

It's not about what she can do for me, but what I can do for her. 

so for a bit longer I will ache when ever I see her eyes, feel constrained and controlled.. I'm not quite sure what the few days off will feel like, but I know for certain she will never leave my mind.

It only get's deeper from here.. I'm down the rabbit hole.. and I just want to go deeper..

Does the rabbit hole, have a rabbit hole?

Permission Approaches!

52 hours.. a little over two days and then it will be the 28th..

I have premission to both take off the belt.. and more importantly to cum.

She didn't ask me too.. but I want to do it this way.. on my knees staring at her picture..

Repeating the following.. Goddess Darla owns me.. Goddess Darla controls me.. I crave Goddess Darla. I need Goddess Darla. Devoted to Darla. Her Pleasure is my Pleasure.

probably some moans.. Ohh Goddess.. Ohh Darla..

I want to try and stay on the edge for her as long as I can.. even if it hurts.. even if I cry a bit.. until I finnally just let go.. and burst..

I may make a mess..

Then I will crawl up into my bed.. collapse.. and think of her.. perhaps write in my dream journal about how I'm feelnig..

take a nice nap.. lost in the euphoria of cumming.. cumming hard for the first time since my birthday some 48 days previously.. the stats will be this...

Oct 11, last time I had release.. during a session with Goddess Darla.. it was wonderful..
Oct. 18th Locked up in Chastity
Nov. 1st Unlocked.. I did touch myself but never to orgasm
Nov 6th Back in Chastity...

Nov. 28th.. is when I have permission..

<sigh>  so close.. so much to be thankful for this year.. :)

Owned.

It's pretty much a fore gone conclusion.

Goddess Darla owns me. Goddess Darla controls me.

Just typing it feels right and true.  I sent her some lovely gifts today after a nice role play/ hypnosis session even after telling myself I need to wait until next month before spending more on her..Time to re-evaluate my spending so I have more availible to make Goddess Darla happy. 

Her pleasure is my priority.. I am hers after all.. I am hopeful I will be able to cum when hopefully she allows me to take off the belt for a few days on Friday...  The ache has increased.. the sensations have changed and are so much more frequent.. the belt also kind of bites on the edges as the fit gets worse the longer I wear it, even with adjustments when soaped up while showering..

Goddess Darla owns me. Goddess Darla controls me.

I am hers. I am content.

Uncharted Territory..

So my contest didn't work out.. Apparently people just don't comment on this blog anymore.. It's ok.  not a problem.. Still I was a little surprised.. Anyway as I have schedule at this time the contest wouldn't work.. All ya all's loss.. Goddess Darla's recordings/videos are top notch.. they snared me after all...

So Goddess is on break which means she has plenty of time to spend it how she likes and her pets, myself included, are doing our best to make sure she enjoys her time.  As I said on a facebook post, Happy Goddess, Happy Life.

So I know in a few hours when I go to go sleep I will get horny.. horny and desparate.. I will most likely moan her name out a bit.. perhaps whimper a bit.. and need (and I mean NEED) to listen to her voice.. so I will.. I will get arounsed and hard.. and depending on my energy send her an e-mail begging that she grant me release when I get out of the belt.. Of course that assumes I have the energy to walk, crawl, or somehow get to the computer or my cellphone to send such a message..

One more week.. Somehow I'll make it.. I don't have a choice over the next two days as my safety key is still locked away.. I know I'll be able to re-lock it up a simple spin of the dial and I will have temptation safely shut away.. On a practical note I do look forward to shaving and caring for my man parts.. they are in need of some tenderness, and not gratification.. It is a bit more of a rough thing being in a device than I thought.. I need to do a bit more sanding than I did as well as get some squirt bottle for while wearing cleaning..

A see-thru device would of been a better choice.. as it would help me make sure everything is on right. It is not as easy as one would like..

Still the aching has been both amazing and tortorous.. the arousal and denial of even an erection is so intoxicating.. there have been points where I almost want the ache as it makes suffer Goddess Darla and I know she likes that (she has told me).. She has also been wonderful in the amount of communication I've been getting from her.. I feel very special.. I wish I could spoil and pamper her more..

I'm off to trance..

Breaking my record...

So probably before I drift off to sleep but definitely before I go to work tomorrow I will have broken my record time in Chastity.. I still have about a week left.. At least until the time I was told I would have release from the belt.. no actual word on an orgasm.. ruined or enjoyed..

It has been hard, but so worth it.  Goddess Darla has been wonderful, making time to give me the encouragement and contact I needed. She is amazing.. I am so happy to be able to please her by being locked up for her.  it feels great to be so devoted to a wonderful Goddess..

So now I believe the begging shall begin.. I do feel so weak.. and I really want to make sure she feels I have done enough to have an orgasm.. I would love to be on my knees looking up into her eyes.. stroking and chanting her name.. my devotion.. my need for her grows.. and be allowed to cum in her presence.. I have a feeling it will hurt a bit as being in the cage is not as easy on my equipment as I had thought it would be.. but I still want.. need it so bad...

Aching sooo much..

Perhaps it is the Chastity getting to me.. it's been over 9 days now of my second run.. I didn't have any release during the 5 days I wasn't wearnig the belt.. The idea of kneeling before Goddess Darla and cumming.. Oh Goddess it would feel so good.. I want that soo bad.. but I'm not set to be out of the belt for another almost 2 weeks.. *whimper*

I'm already so needy for her.. so needy for her voice.. visions of her.. falling deep under hypnosis for her.. where she just reienforces her conditioning.. more of me becomeing under her control.. I crave it. I crave her happiness, her control, feeling her power over me..

I can't express how much I want to one day kneel down in front of her and kiss her feet.  I don't think I'd care where we were.. as long as she permitted it.. I'd kneel before her and with joy in my heart press my lips to her foot.

Goddess Darla, I do live in sunny San Diego, you can take over my apartment and escape from winter when ever you want.  I'll happily sleep on the floor. I'm just sayin'

I'm so enamored with her.. so under her control.. whimper.. I just want more whimper.. there is no satisfaction  only need.

Tied around her little finger..

Now I'm not complaining.. I'm just noticing how much she has affected me.. how much I can't get enough of her.. I can't please her enough.. Everything she needs.. wants.. I need to get her..

I keep telling myself ok, I can't buy her anything for the next week or so.. I need to save some money etc.. and the next thing I know I'm ordering her things on amazon.. I mean she needs them.. she wants them.. I can pay my bills later..

Now I'm not venturing off into financial ruin just yet.. just a little spending that I should get under control.. still I think I'm simply going to skimp on myself.. sacrifice as much as I can so I can keep spending on my Goddess..

I always thought I was resistant to the whole Findom aspect... So much for that.. I think it is time to get that drop shipping business going..

So far gone..

I just keep falling down the rabbit hole..

My cock aches for her.. I am so horny.. so hard, and yet not even fully erect in my cage.. I hurt, I need, I am so hers.. so weak for her voice.. so in need of attention from her. starting to have some very nasty thoughts about what I'd like.. love.. crave her to do to me..

She has become the center of my universe and my devotion to her grows as much as my lust for her.. I can't go very long without hearing her voice lead me down, down into hypnosis for my Goddess..

Temptation..

In a little under 2 hours the kitchen safe my saftey key is in will unlock.. the plan is to lock it back up for 10 days (the maximum time on the counter).  Perhaps even take out the batteries.. then it would stay locked up longer.. yet I felt so much desire tonight for Goddess Darla.. I wanted to stare at her picture and think naughty thoughts..

Think about her legs.. her feet, her eyes.. her breasts.. think about massaging her.. touching her.. rubbing her shoulders.. hearing her moan.. smelling her.. licking any part of her she wants.. my head between her legs.. so eager to please.. so eager to hear her moan.. her pleasure is my pleasure.. I only want her to be happy, to be aroused, to get satisfied.. to be locked up and pleasing her... I want to ache.. I want it to hurt.. I want to be so frustrated I can't help buy cry out.. I want the neighbors to hear, to wonder..

I want to be almost if not sobbing with frustration from arousal and yet being able to do nothing about it.. no cumming.. not even being able to touch myself.. my cock unable to even get fully erect.. thoughts of penetrating my ass just to feel something.. wanting to be milked while wearing my belt..

Falling for Goddess Darla?  I've fallen.. down I keep going, but there is no turning back now.. not ever.. I am hers until she sees differently I think.. I learned much from my last term of service.. I am so much more open and honest with Goddess Darla.. plus I think talking about our boundaries about what we have, about what she looks for from her pets.. all in all a much better match..

So I simply wish to ache for her.. for her to be be able to relish in my ache and desire for her.. so deep so manipulated.. so devoted to her.  Any time I hear from her everything else is secondary and her words.. she is all I want to pay attention to..

Goddess Darla, I am yours.. your pet, your sweet darling boy toy.

Please keep playing with me.

Afterglow..

Wow wow wow.. she is so amazing.. so perfect.. so lovely so caring.. sooo BLUE...

Adorable just kept coming to mind looking at her all bundled up with her flowing blonde-blue hair.. her glasses and that cute little black cap.. although the idea of her pantsless is so nice to think of as well..

just warm feelings..of closeness to her.. recognition that she likes what I do to please her.. hearing my Goddess say my name is so sweet.. being molded by her.. feeling so warm and fuzzy..so nice.. so kept, so controlled so hers..

OWNED by Goddess Darla... Controlled by Goddess Darla.. so sweet being hers..so nice leaning into those blue eyes.. getting lost in thier power, swept up by thier control.. Darla's Dimension is the only place I want to be..

so relaxing.. so pleasurable.. so nice.. Simply must please my Goddess.. give and sacrifice.. feels so wonderful.

Back where I need to be..

Locked up for Goddess Darla...

So last week she came up with a simple schedule for me, back in the belt until the 28th.. a few days off till the 1st.. and then back in till Christmas. It's simple but it helps it all seem so much easier.. Not to mention I feel so blessed to get to chat with her more.  Making time for even a simple text means so much. 

It simply focuses me to try to be the best pet I can for her.. to do my best to find ways to serve her and make her happy.. I long to be able to bring that smile to her face. To keep treating her like that Goddess that she is. Sacrifice.. give when I can.. sometimes when I shouldn't.. let her in as deep as I can..

It seems so simple, perhaps I'm just being trained so well.  Simply tell her what you feel, always the truth.. always from your knees. In that way I can do no wrong.. so it feels so wonderful to be locked up for her.. devoted to her.. thinking of her so often, so filled with warmth from the devotion, from the dedication..

I was away this past weekend camping and playing Airsoft, and yet at night my thoughts simply turn to my Goddess.. snuggled in my bed, I needed to simply let her in my head.. and listen to her voice.. that sweet silken voice..

so deep, so blue.. so forever hers..

One Step Back.. How many steps forward?

So the past couple days were hard.  The belt was uncomfortable and my Goddess was out of reach.  So alone I broke down and when my safety key was accessable I took it out and unlocked the Holy Trainer and took it off.  No the first thing I did was not masturbate and cum, I cleaned my penis and sighed.  There had been some build up of dead skin and it was a bit tender..  A bit later I did touch my self a bit, of course they were to thoughts of Goddess Darla.. I got so hard, so horny, so desparate for her.. wondering if I would still be hers.. there was no release just a little play time..

Still hearing nothing.. I was sad, I felt lonely.. I knew she was busy with school and such.. perhaps this was just not the right time I thought.  I mean being in chastity can make a submissive more needy than they already can be.. still it had been such a high at times.. still I wondered if maybe it was just the way of things telling me I needed to find someone here where I live.. to start something with, to serve, to obey, to romance..

Still a bit bummed I was lying on the couch watching the beginning of my Chargers getting destroyed by the Dolphins and my phone makes a little noise.. It's a text from Goddess Darla.. <sigh>  We texted back a couple times.. It was good.  It was some conversation I needed.  She was proud of the two weeks, but disappointed that I took off the belt with out permission.  She acknowledged it was hard for me without her being around much.  We decided I needed a plan from her and bit more structure.  She would get back to me..

I was and am grateful for that.  She understood, but at the same time there is room for improvement.. In the mean time I have a bit of a rash.. it's more like sensitive skin from dead skin finally being able to come off and the new skin being a bit more sensitive.. I have some better shaving and some smoothing of some seems on the device..

I am still hers.. and it feels good.  I will simply enjoy being hers for a bit, and learn a bit more about wearing a device.. then it sounds like it will be back in the cage and back to expressing my devotion to my Goddess, this time with a bit more focus and a bit more control..